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Once upon a time...

What? Huh? Speak up!

Ahem... Once upon a time there was an ant. I know, I know, you've already heard about the ant. The one who thought he was a penguin, right right. But that's more like the end of the story. How did he get to thinking that he was a penguin? Was it a matter of amnesia? Or just that he was a little confused? Well, this here story will shed some light on the tale of the ant who thought he was a penguin.




Many moons ago, the ant found himself trecking through the Swiss Alps, backpack full of survival gear, doing that which an ant should do, preparing itself for the long cold winter ahead. It was on a Thursday afternoon, around 3:00, when the ant realized that he had lost his way. He had meant to head north, towards Denmark, to bring his day's work back to the ant hill. But somehow he got turned around, and by the time he realized that he was heading the wrong direction, he was most of the way towards Greece. He was very tired (he had been walking all day you know, and decided to lay down for the night.


Upon awakening the next morning, he met a dog in the Acropolis.

He asked the dog, "Do you know the way back to Denmark?"

The dog said, "I'm not sure, but would you like to come over for a glass of Metaxa?"

The ant declined, "No thank you." (How was he going to get home and work if he was drunk from Metaxa? ), and headed on his way. Seeing a boat in the harbor, he jumped on, crossed his antennae, and hoped for the best.

A few hours later, the ant found himself on the sandy shores of North Africa. This obviously was not the ant's day. He grumbled to himself - "Dammit." It was getting later in the day, he had goods to collect for the upcoming winter, and really didn't have time to be lost in the land of the Pharoahs. He sat down in the sand to try and figure out what he should do, when a Phoenix flew past, and landed near him.

"What's wrong?" the Phoenix asked.

"I'm lost, and need to get back to Denmark," the ant replied.

"Well, it's a little out of my way, but hop on my back and I can fly you there."

So the ant hopped on the Phoenix's back and they soared into the sky, pyramids passing below them, the jungle getting lusher, Mt. Kilimanjaro beneath them and ...

"HEY!" shouted the ant. "You're going the wrong way! Denmark was to the North! We're heading South!"

But it was to no avail, as the Phoenix was trying so hard to fly the ant home quickly that he didn't hear the ant over the rush of wind past its ears.

So the next place the ant and the Phoenix found themselves was in Antarctica. Which wasn't where they were originally headed to, but was a better place to be lost in than Egypt or Greece, as the ant had relatives there (why else do you think it's called ANTarctica?). The Phoenix apolgized for going the wrong way - "Sorry buddy..." The ant said that that was ok - "S'alright.", and the Phoenix headed back towards Africa, flames trailing behind him.

Now the ant was very tired, what with all this travelling. And, as it often is with travelling and being tired, he was a little loopy. So when he ran into a group of penguins huddled around a campfire keeping warm, it was only natural for him to mistake them for his southern relatives (the black coats, the helpful nature, the good manners, etcetera).

After a few days of hanging out with the penguins, the ant started to feel at home. The penguins liked him because he did so much work. But after a while, they decided that the ant should go back to his home.

"When's he leaving?" they asked.

So one night, while the ant was sleeping, the penguins put him on a freight barge that was heading to Denmark. When the ant awoke, he was back home, but so confused ("Where am I?") that he thought that he was back with the penguins (and, what's more, he thought he was a penguin).

So that's the story on how the ant came to think he was a penguin.


The End